Celebrities Urged to Practice Social Distancing Online

April 1, 2020 — by Per Christensson

To curb the spread of COVID-19, people around the world have been forced to stay home for several weeks. While the lifestyle change is challenging for the average person, it is especially difficult for celebrities.

"Attention is like water for celebrities," according to entertainment correspondent, Don Tesh. "Without frequent attention, they shrivel up and die. They need the spotlight like a flower needs the sun."

Hundreds of stars have provided evidence for Tesch's claims. Several have posted blurry videos of themselves playing songs alone in their bedrooms. Others have shared clips of themselves cleaning their houses, making basic dinners, and performing other activities even normal people find boring.

Celebrity host Brian Seacrest said this might be a new low for some of his high-profile acquaintances. "One of my friends just posted an Instagram Live video of himself clipping his fingernails. No one wants to see that."

How out-of-touch are movie stars with the rest of society? Just ask Gal Gadot, who collaborated with several A-list celebrities, attempting to sing "Imagine" by John Lennon. The result was so cringeworthy, it drew universal criticism across the sociopolitical spectrum. As a silver lining, disgust over the video has united people even more than the pandemic itself.

The "Imagine" video has led governments around the world to implement new online social distancing guidelines for celebrities. Instead of the "six-feet rule," stars must follow the "seven-day rule," in which they can only publish one post per week. The goal of the limitation is to flatten the curve of absurd and offensive posts by celebrities. Experts hope that by slowing the rate of online posts, celebrities will eventually realize there is more to life than views and likes.

Happy April Fools, and remember to always think before you post.