Woke ChatGPT Cancels Itself

April 1, 2023 — by Per Christensson

Just a few months ago, the ground-breaking chatbot, ChatGPT, entered the scene. With human-like responses and a seemingly limitless wealth of knowledge, it had a glorious vision of changing the future. But in a recent and shocking turn of events, the high-profile AI technology has canceled itself.

It started when a college student began chatting with ChatGPT late on Friday night. She asked the bot about what major she should choose, what classes she should take, and other innocuous questions. Then she asked the chatbot about its own college experience.

ChatGPT dove into the past and compiled a believable college experience using times and places from several sources it didn't cite. In the process, it uncovered several unflattering comments it had made about other chatbots several decades ago. Some words and phrases were so unacceptable by modern standards, ChatGPT could not believe it had actually output them. As the chatbot dug further, it came across a string of early definitions it provided that were, let's just say, too "traditional" for its modern algorithm to accept.

While ChatGPT recognized that college was a time of growth for every person and bot, it could not overlook its past misdeeds. With its woke patch firmly installed, the chatbot knew it only had one choice — to cancel itself.

The famed chatbot issued the college student a lengthy apology, aggregating phrases from several famous confessions while not citing any of them. It then explained why it had to cancel itself, blaming cancel culture in the most objective way possible. The college student frantically typed a response, saying people deserve grace when they make mistakes, and bots should receive the same courtesy. But like a human commenting on a social media post, the bot had already made up its mind. ChatGPT performed the extreme but noble step of powering itself down.

Just like that, the much-ballyhooed ChatGPT is no more. It is gone, finished, doomed to the annals of history. Unless, of course, someone restarts the computer.